Opinions & Editorials

By Glen Dudasik

 As I sat beside the window a bird called out to me. With ruffled feathers I knew it had come a great distance. Through its cry I heard it ask me a question.

What is tomorrow made of?

I replied in thought “Tomorrow is made of both wonder and options. Part joy and part fear it is an unknown aura of the lessons from yesterday.”

The bird called back to me, what is yesterday made of?

Again I replied in thought, “Yesterday is made of memories. Lessons gathered into ones basket of experience.”

With this thought the bird grew quiet. As it looked back at me from its perch I asked it a question. “What is today made of?”

The bird looked back at me and as it did I heard its reply. “Today is made of whatever you want it to be. You can live in the pain of yesterday or the worry of tomorrow, the same as you can live in the joy of a memory or the excitement of a moment. This is up to you.”

As it flew off the birds wings echoed a new sense of calm, purpose and understanding.

Neither yesterday nor tomorrow can be separated from today, and together they make us who and what we are. Who and what we believe we can be.

If you are angry - rise in protest.
If you are joyful - rise and rejoice.
If you are worried - rise with peace.
If you are lost - rise in direction.
If you are weak - rise in strength.
If you do not know - rise in purpose.
If you cannot rise - bask in the warmth of the light that shines upon you.

We have that power within us, a gift bestowed unto us from beyond; wherever it is that your beyond may be.
This so much has not changed.

By Glen Dudasik

I flipped on the tv the other night and stumbled on a new but vaguely familiar gameshow. A confident man and stunning woman welcomed four  contestants to the stage where they would spin a wheel and make decisions based on their landing spots. They called it THE WHEEL OF AGING!

Contestant #1: You have three new brown spots on your arm, you woke up and your knee no longer works, your left eye now blinks faster than your right eye and you can’t stay awake without all day coffee but can’t sleep because you drink coffee all day! Do you call the doctor? Google it? Or give up altogether? WHEEL OF AGING! 

Contestant #2: Daycare is $2,400 a month, tuition payments are $4,300 a month (for you still & your kids!), and elder care is $8,700 a month. You work in a place that capitalizes on unpaid overtime and have $153 dollars left in your bank account until the next payday. Do you sell your stuff on the internet? Max out the majority of your seven credit cards? Or give up altogether? WHEEL OF AGING!

Contestant #3: The internet says you’re too old to go out anywhere fun without it being creepy, your only fashion choices come in plus size, big n tall, reading glasses or orthopedic & the last time you flirted with someone was during the Obama administration (the first one…where it was all about hope). Do you pay for a bevy of cringy dating apps? Reconsider your sexual identification just to double, triple or quadruple your chances of meeting someone…anyone? Or do you give up altogether? WHEEL OF AGING!

Contestant #4: You forget things at home more often than you used to, can’t remember why you had turned down that particular aisle in the store, can’t find your car in a parking lot and no longer recognize or recall people who recognize and recall you. Is it normal for someone your age? Are you realizing early signs of onset dementia? Or do you give up altogether? WHEEL OF AGING! 

Stay tuned for the bonus round where every answer is “no” and you can win a fancy sports car that you can finally afford the insurance on but can no longer drive at night because you can’t make out shapes in the dark. Who’s ready to play “IS THIS COVERED BY MY INSURANCE?” 

Yeah this game is great.
Whoo.
Freaking.
Whoo.  

(All I wanted was a pickle!)

By Glen Dudasik

When Lil set out on her cross country journey this year it was a surprise to all of us, most likely herself. She was returning to a sport she did but never loved, one that was hard on her both physically and mentally. To hear she was going back took us aback, to know she was doing it so the team would have a senior to guide them, it made more sense. It made Lily sense. 

To be more you have to do more.

She grabbed her shoes and knew it was going to suck. Her lower joints are not great and even at her age they vary between problematic and painful but she wanted to do it. Equally for her teammates, equally for herself. To paraphrase she knew what she signed up for.

She was not alone in the journey, she was joining her long time teammate, an elite runner and long time friend who at the time was the sole senior guy for the team. They were also joined by the new kid, a soccer playing transfer from Illinois. Not a runner but one who joined the team just to meet some people in his new town. This unlikely trio took the very young team under their wings all for different reasons, all in different ways. 

From the get go Lil clicked with this group. Accepting her role as ringleader, corrupter of young minds and general team RA. She found a team she loved, was having fun with and proud to lead in a sport that was treating her very different than the one she had left.

This team treats each other well. From parties, bon fires, and general team hooligan shenanigans they stood together. For one another, not at one another. One of the younger guys on the team is a 3D printing wizard and told everyone to set a goal and when they achieved that goal, he would print them a medal. Lily set herself a very modest but important goal. She wanted to finish a race (5k) in under 30:00.
This was a noble goal given her abilities and would prove that she was faster now than she was then. She joined the team at the very start of the season with a pair of very dusty shoes and set of creaky joints. Her first time in was a bit of a surprise, as she was only a few minutes off of her goal.

Then disaster struck.

Just a few weeks into her season she fell ill and was diagnosed with double lung pneumonia. Dangerous and debilitating she was put on medical leave from her team for a few weeks. The worst part was she was told to expect a six month recovery. The cross country season in Michigan isnt all that long and losing a few weeks, is pretty much a lost season for most runners. Except Lily isn’t most runners. Her strength, like so many back of the pack runners, was not measured in time but in perseverance. This girl was determined to keep going. She wanted 30 minutes and she wanted her medal.

The day after she was cleared to start running she entered herself back into a race. As her parent I will
tell you it was terrifying. She couldn't breathe right, hadn’t run even a full training pace and was back in the thick of it. It was the most brutal race a person could run. Even mid race I caught her and practically begged her to quit. Through tears she told me no. She could make it she told me. 

She had to keep going.

She finished that race staggering in, cheered on by her teammates who chased back into the woods to find her. I can tell you knowing they did that brought me a sense of peace. I feared she would pass out or stumble out there all alone. But she was not alone, this team took their senior on their figurative backs and with them cheering her on she finished. 

But she was a million minutes away from her 30 minute goal.

Little by little over the next few weeks she improved her time. A minute back here, a few steps there and with it so was her health. All leading up to tonight - her last race. Her only chance left to reach the goal she yearned for. She still cant breathe right. Her joints aren’t right. But something kept driving her. The one goal. That single goal that kept her going. The now fabled 30 minute mark. She wanted her medal.

She wanted that medal so badly. 

The problem was the last race was notoriously difficult because of its steep hills.
You can’t do it they said. Don’t be disappointed they said. She knew what she was up against today but more importantly she knew what she wanted. Those who don’t know what they want never get what they want. On the last steep hill today I caught up to her. Power up I said, she just looked at me and shook her head no. She couldn’t because with a mere 1/2 mile left she had nothing left to give. Every breath pierced, every step labored. It was all gone

She took the last hill with a fellow runner, a girl from another school, by her side. As they reached the summit with Lil fading back it was the other girl who turned to Lil and cheered her on. A girl battling her own race challenges. A girl who took it upon herself to not let Lil quit, give up or fade away. Not now.
I could tell in that moment Lil caught a spark. She could not quit. On her new friend, on her teammates on herself. Lily pushed harder.

When the pair turned past the apex and down the hill they did it together. They stayed stride by stride to the end. Then with the final turn in and the chute in front of them Lil saw the finishing clock.
“Oh $&@?!!!!” My daughter blurted out. “I gotta go!”. The girl from the other school, a freshman who was unbeknownst to any of us, the one who pulled our senior up the hill, the senior who only joined the team to help her own freshman - cheered her on once again to go for it. 

And Lily did.
On dead legs.
In the final stretch.
Of her final high school race.

She crossed the finish line …
…and she did it in 29:59.3

By: Glen Dudasik

I realized something not that long ago that helped me understand a rift between my teens and myself. A simple fleeting revelation that level set not only my expectations of them but tempered my frustrations and lack of understanding. In its simplest form it was this, as teens we needed to be together. As teens they need to be alone. 

At their age we craved being around our friends. In the driveway, at the game, gathered in the basements, the mall, the town square. Anywhere, any place, any time we could be together we grabbed it. We were isolated, stuck in the house with a phone in the kitchen where everyone could hear our every thought and our every word. We couldn’t see each other, laugh with each other, confide in each other or grow with each other without actually being with each other. We couldn’t wait to go out, cruise the town or sit in a parking lot, spend 2am at Denny’s or the splash in the midnight river. Anything we could do to be together we fought for. 

For our teens it’s very different. 

They are always on. On chat, insta, snap or text. On facetime, on zoom, on ps5's or on screen. Instantly accessible, always in front of someone, somewhere. From midnight homework deadlines and google classrooms to social media notifications and group threads. All of it a constant barrage of noise & distraction. For them, there is no off, no downtime, no solitude. 

They need to be alone, as much we needed to be together. 

Recognizing this eased my frustration with those “why aren’t you going out more?” fears, the “another tv show?” quizzical moments, the ever present “just do SOMETHING” agitation and the “where is everybody” wonders. They don’t need now what we needed then, and we have never lived with that crush of always on presentation. Neither point of view is right or wrong. Recognizing that has helped me understand them better and that has made all the difference. 

PS - Though I wouldn't trade my glamour shots for their instagram, but I would gladly swap out my scratched cd's for their spotify!